You spend nine months pouring over Buzz Worthy Baby Names to find the perfect name. You find the name that makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over inside. You name your baby. You raise your child to be a confident, intelligent adult. You bake cookies from scratch. You drive to three different stores to find the right brand of shirt for them. You drive them around and do their laundry. You pay for their college experience (because you had to work three jobs while taking 18 hours per semester and were always super jealous of the people who played frisbee on the quad everyday).
How do they thank you? They drop out of college and move to LA to be an actor and find themselves. Then, as fame knocks on their door, they drop that name like a rock.
At least you will get a Hi Mom when they accept their Oscar (or when they call you from a pay phone broke and tired and done with pursuing their dream.
Inventing Matilda has been sleuthing for the birth certificates of celebrities. Here are a few people who put their pants on one leg at a time but then tuck in a driver's license with a new name into the back pocket:
50 Cent - Curtis Jackson
Adam Ant - Stuart Leslie Goddard
Adam Faith - Terence Nelhams
Alan Alda - Alphonso D'Abruzzo
Albert Brooks - Albert Einstein
Alice Cooper - Vincent Damon Furnier
Alicia Keys - Alicia Augello Cook
Andre the Giant - Andre Rene Roussimoff
Angelina Jolie - Angelina Jolie Voight
Anna Nicole Smith - Vickie Lynn Hogan
Anne Bancroft - Anna Maria Italiano
Ashton Kutcher - Christopher Ashton Kutcher
Axl Rose - William Bailey
Babyface - Kenneth Edmonds
Barbara Eden - Barbara Huffman
Barbara Windsor - Barbara-Ann Deeks
Barry Manilow - Barry Alan Pinkus
Beatrice Arthur - Bernice Frankel
Beau Bridges - Lloyd Vernet Bridges III
Benny Hill - Alfred Hawthorne Hill
Bez - Mark Berry
Big Daddy - Shirley Crabtree
Bill Wyman - William Perks
Billy Idol - William Broad
Billy Ocean - Leslie Sabastian Charles
Bing Crosby - Harry Lillis Crosby
Bob Dylan - Robert Allen Zimmerman
Bono - Paul Hewson
Boy George - George O Dowd
Brandy - Brandy Rayana Norwood
Brigette Bardot - Camille Javal
Buddy Holly - Charles Hardin Holley
Carmen Electra - Tara Patrick
Carrot Top - Scott Thompson
Cary Grant - Archibald Alexander Leach
Charles Bronson - Charles Buchinski
Charlie Sheen - Carlos Irwin Estevez
Charlton Heston - John Charles Carter
Cher - Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPiere
Cheryl Baker - Rita Crudgington
Chris De Burgh - Christopher Davidson
Chuck Norris - Carlos Ray
Cilla Black - Priscilla White
Clay Aiken - Clayton Holmes Grissom
Cliff Richard - Harry Webb
Conway Twitty - Harold Lloyd Jenkins
Crystal Gayle - Brenda Gail Webb
Danny DeVito - Daniel Michaeli
David Bowie - David Robert Jones
David Copperfield - David Kotkin
David Essex - David Albert Cook
David Jason - David John White
David Tennant - David McDonald
David Walliams - David Williams
Demi Moore - Demetria Gene Guynes
Diana Ross - Diane Earle
Dido - Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong
DJ Jazzy Jeff - Jeffrey Townes
Don Johnson - Don Wayne
Doris Day - Doris von Kappelhof
Elle Macpherson - Eleanor Gow
Elton John - Reginald Dwight
Elvis Costello - Declan Mcmanus
Eminem - Marshall Bruce Mathers III
Englebert Humperdinck - Arnold George Dorsey
Enya - Eithne Ni Bhraonian
Eric Clapton - Eric Clapp
Fabio - Fabio Lanzoni
Faith Hill - Audrey Faith Perry McGraw
Fergie - Stacy Ferguson
Frank Skinner - Chris Collins
Freddie Mercury - Farrokh Bulsara
Freddie Starr - Freddie Powell
Gary Glitter - Paul Gadd
Gene Simmons - Chaim Witz
Gene Wilder - Jerome Silberman
George Michael - Georgios Panaylotou
George Orwell - Eric Blair
Gloria Estefan - Gloria Fajardo
Goldie - Clifford Price
Harry Houdini - Erich Weiss
Hulk Hogan - Terry Bollea
Jackie Chan - Chan Kwong-Sung
Jamie Foxx - Eric Bishop
Janet Street Porter - Janet Bull
Jason Alexander - Jay Greenspan
Jay-Z - Shawn Carter
Jennifer Aniston - Jennifer Anastassakis
Joe Strummer - John Graham Mellor
Jon Bon Jovi - John Francis Bongiovi
John Cleese - John Cheese
John Denver - Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.
John Wayne - Marion Morrison
Jordan - Katie Price
Julie Andrews - Julia Wells
Kenny Everett - Maurice Cole
Kid Rock - Robert James Ritchie
Kirk Douglas - Issur Danielovitch
Lulu - Marie Lawrie
Madonna - Madonna Louise Ciccone
Marilyn Manson - Brian Warner
Marilyn Monroe - Norma Baker
Mark Twain - Samuel Longhorne Clemens
MC Hammer - Stanley Kirk Burrell
Meatloaf - Marvin Aday
Meg Ryan - Margaret Hyra
Mel Gibson - Columcille Gibson
Michael Barrymore - Michael Parker
Michael Caine - Maurice Micklewhite
Michael Crawford - Michael Dumble-Smith
Miley Cyrus - Destiny Hope Cyrus
Moby - Richard Melville Hall
Mos Def - Dante Terrell Smith
Muhammad Ali - Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr.
Natalie Portman - Natalie Hershlag
Neil Diamond - Noah Kaminsky
Nicolas Cage - Nicolas Coppola
Nicole Ritchie - Nicole Camilla Escovedo
Nina Ricci - Maria Nielli
Nina Simone - Eunice Wayman
Omar Sharif - Michael Shalhoub
Ozzy Osbourne - John Osbourne
Paul McCartney - James Paul McCartney
Pele - Edson Arantes Do Nascimento
Pink - Alecia Moore
Prince - Prince Nelson
Queen Latifah - Dana Elaine Owens
Ralph Lauren - Ralph Lipschitz
Ray Charles - Ray Charles Robinson
Ricky Martin - Enrique Morales
Ringo Starr - Richard Starkey
Robert Palmer - Alan Batley
Russ Abbot - Russell Roberts
Sandra Dee - Alexandria Zuck
Seal - Sealhenry Samuel
Shakin Stevens - Michael Barratt
Shakira - Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll
Shania Twain - Eileen Regina Edwards
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Calvin Broadus
Spike Milligan - Terence Alan Milligan
Stevie Wonder - Steveland Judkins/Morris
Sting - Gordon Sumner
Suggs - Graham Mc Pherson
Ted Danson - Edward Bridge Danson III
The Edge - David Evans
The Rock - Dwayne Johnson
Tiger Woods - Eldrick Woods
Tim McGraw - Samuel Timothy Smith
Tina Turner - Anna Bullock
Tiny Tim - Herbert Buckingham Khaury
Tom Cruise - Thomas Cruise Mapother IV
Tony Bennett - Anthony Benedetto
Tony Danza - Anthony Ladanza
Tori Amos - Myra Ellen Amos
Twiggy - Lesley Hornby
Usher - Usher Raymond IV
Vanilla Ice - Robert Van Winkle
Vic Reeves - Jim Moir
Vin Diesel - Mark Vincent
Whoopi Goldberg - Caryn Johnson
Winona Ryder - Winona Laura Horowitz
Woody Allen - Allen Konigsberg
The best way to pull a guilt trip on your kid when they tell you that they are changing their name is by showing them how much thought and care you put into choosing their birth announcements from Inventing Matilda when they were born.
America's Top Model = Drama...Drama...Pose...Drama...Drama...Fierce...Drama...Drama...Scream and Jump Around. The contestants are very animated and an eclectic blend of styles and personalities (just like our sponsor Inventing Matilda). Here is a list of America's Next Top Model Contestants. Make a high fashion pose as you read it.
